I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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