I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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