I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
