I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
