we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
