This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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