just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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