bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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