You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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