Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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