He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
50% drunk capacity currently
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
