Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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