I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
