I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have feelings that need drinking.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
