How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
