There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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