she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
