i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I love you.
Bad choice
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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