think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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