Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
