i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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