My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize