My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
