Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im holly from the hills drunk
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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