So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
