I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How external is "for external use only"?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
