can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Where is the hickey?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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