I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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