I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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