Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The Olympian is in my bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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