Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
