Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
