Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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