you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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