Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
