Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
