The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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