i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
