i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
