His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
