You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
