You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
