Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
