Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
