sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
