In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
