i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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