They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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