I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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