Porn is love you can see.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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