Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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