apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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