Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
