do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
