Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize