is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
