The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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