Cold hands, warm shart.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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