I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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