I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize