Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
