Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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