No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize