oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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