I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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