I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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