If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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