i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize